Lose your mates and discover the true beauty of travelling solo

I did not originally plan to travel alone. I may be somewhat independent but I also crave company, and the prospect of spending the best part of three weeks travelling alone did unnerve me. I fully expected to drive myself crazy, getting quickly bored and frustrated, but I discovered that travelling alone isn't the trial I expected it to be.

I am lucky enough to have two University friends living in Japan who had extended an open invitation for me to come and visit. Coupled with the fact that I was frustrated at my lack of job prospects, everything added up to the opportune moment for me to up sticks and put some distance between myself and my regular life.

But one thing was halting me from booking my flights: the thought of going it alone. Travelling as a lone female scared me, and I thought I'd be inviting trouble. I asked around my friends and family to see if anyone fancied exploring Japan with me, with no positive responses. As the weeks passed and no-one seemed keen to join me on my Asian adventure, I realised I would be alone if I went through with this.

I could feel my 40-year old career bound self screaming at me to just do it, and take advantage of my lack of pressing responsibility. From the moment I clicked 'confirm' to book my tickets I was excited. This mood settled into a positive anticipation as I boarded the plane, yet as we came into land the realisation of what I was about to embark upon came sharply into focus. I was about to get off that plane, walk out into the most  foreign country I had ever been to, and I was totally alone.

Feeling sick I stood in the airport, not having a clue what to do or where to go.  Luckily my Japan residing friend Anna was texting me directions, but following her instructions towards the train station felt more like driving without a seatbelt on.

This feeling didn't last long. When alone you don't have time to spiral into panic, doing and finding things are much more pressing tasks. Yes, finding hostels can be a nightmare, depending on the quality of internet directions, but once you get there things usually run pretty smoothly. As I stumbled into my first hostel, too exhausted from travelling to register where I was, what time it was, or even who I was, there were two things on my agenda: shower and sleep. This just did not happen. The second I'd put down my massive bag and proceeded to check in, one of the hostel workers invited me to go into Osaka with some other hostel guests.

"Great" I said. "Any time for a shower?"

"No, we're leaving now...sorry...sleep and shower later!"

     

No way was I going to pass up on this opportunity of getting my bearings and meeting new people. 

Sweat and fatigue became two states simultaneous with making the most of my time travelling, so it was a blessing to realise and embrace this from Day 1.

Of course sometimes you do have to make the first move. Offering to make a cup of tea for other lone travellers was a particular hit, and I ended up chatting with  an Irish guy, an Australian girl, and an American guy, all visiting Hiroshima alone. We met up again for dinner and drinks, meeting some rather loud and drunk Japanese business men who wanted to share their bowl of edamame beans with us.

And it's not just evening conversation. Bump into the right people and you'll find yourself a temporary travel buddy. I met a lovely Irish girl in a capsule hostel in Tokyo. She had just arrived, and was still in the culture shock stage I had experienced a couple of weeks back in Osaka. I had just spent a rather uninspiring day in Tokyo alone; the big T and I had not hit it off.  As a result we were both as chatty as each other and up for spending the next day exploring together. We instantly clicked and had a fantastic day getting lost on the metro system, trawling through Harajuku, and getting our culture fix at the Tokyo-Edo Museum. The fun didn't stop there. The following day we invited a German guy I'd met at my previous hostel to leave the city and visit Kamakura with us - a popular tourist town boasting beautiful Buddhist temples and a huge Buddha statue. We ended up accidentally trekking for an hour through the woods on our quest for the Buddha, and there is no way I would have lasted that trek in flip flops alone. Reaching the Buddha was that much more a triumphant victory as a group of three.

However, the most valuable lesson learnt from my time away was that being alone isn't always something that should be avoided, it is to be embraced.

The most time I spent soIo was when I was staying in Koyasan, a sacred mountain top Buddhist temple complex. Other travellers in my hostel were mainly couples, not too interested in meeting new people, and I soon realised that this was in fact ideal. I was able to stroll around the temples barefoot, get an early night without worrying about another person's level of boredom or fatigue, and appreciate everything I wanted to for as long as I wanted to. One of my most precious Koyasan memories was the morning I got up at 5am, and walked through the ancient forest graveyard to reach the Kobodaishi Gobyo temple. Photos were not allowed right near the temple  so no physical evidence exists, it's all in my memory. It was a heady, calming experience, and never before or since have I ever felt more carefree and empowered. The smell of the incense clouding my sleepy head, the rolling murmuring of the priests' chanting and the beauty of the towering mossy trees are enhanced in my memory because I was alone. The memory is solely mine. Copyright of Jasmine Gordon.  

If ever you find yourself saying 'I'd love to go to [insert foreign country/city name], who's interested?' and you are met with the same old work/money/dog excuses, GO ANYWAY. The saying that people regret what they didn't do more than what they did do certainly rings true here. Being a loner traveller allows you to discover places and people so much easier than travelling in a pack. You are focused more on your surroundings and the live action, rather than on your circle of friends. In any case, you won't be isolated, meeting people is a breeze. Stay in hostels, make cups of tea, and invite someone you just met along for the next day's adventure (Hey, I just met you...and this is crazy...) You will soon wonder what you were so worried about. 

German, English, Spanish and French lone travellers...representing Europe in Japan!