Pronunciation Predicaments

Despite having a degree in French, and despite having lived in la belle France for a decent amount of time, my English accent remains a persistent problem. However much I try to disguise it, my accent always reveals my foreign nationality, and is often instantly recognised as specifically English. Although there was a point where I thought I was making progress with my French accent this was short lived. After working two months as a receptionist  in a French camp site, one of my colleagues told me that although my accent wasn't exactly French, it certainly wasn't English. This was, at the time, great news, and I was feeling pretty proud of my progress...until she informed me that instead, my accent made me sound Russian. I have no Russian relatives, and I have never even been to Russia. In fact, the most Russian thing about me is that a vodka cranberry takes my fancy on occasion.

Poor pronunciation comes with a poor accent and this has on occasion provoked some pretty interesting situations. My housemate and I now have around 3 litres of cooking oil in our kitchen, because I attempted to ask for more noodles when she was popping out to the supermarket one day.  I pronounced nouilles - noodles in a way that you'd perhaps say l'huile - oil.  Another time, after a night out in a local bar which had a jungle theme, I was explaining that there were men walking around with snakes around their neck. In this case, I had everyone thinking I'd spent the night in a bar filled with Christmas trees, because I had pronounced serpents - snakes, as sapins - Christmas trees. However, that was nothing compared to the most serious  case of mispronunciation I have made to date. This occurred the first time I met my housemate's Dad, who asked me what my Dad did in his job. Not knowing the vocabulary for 'Traffic Policeman' I that I could make myself understood if I said he was a 'Road Policeman'. Unfortunately, I pronounced the French for road - route in the way they say erection - rut. Telling your housemate's Dad that your own Dad is an 'erection policeman' isn't exactly what makes for a good first impression. Merde.

The comprehension problems do not end there. With English being such a dominant world language, it is no surprise that the French have adopted English words into their everyday vocabulary, such as 'weekend' and 'parking'. Yet you'd be wrong to assume that pronouncing these words with an English accent would be correct.  I recently learnt this one hungover-day when I tried to order a smoothie with a Nutella crêpe in a café...

Me: "je prends un smoothie et une crêpe Nutella, s'il vous plaît" (I'll have a smoothie and a Nutella crepe please)

Waitress: (looks confused) Vous prenez une crêpe Nutella et....? (not catching my choice of drink)

Me (slowly repeating myself) " un smoothie, s'il vous plaît"

Waitress looks at me. She clearly has no idea what I'm talking about. I then used the  ordering  trick popular amongst English tourists; I pointed to the strawberry and banana smoothie on the menu. The instant comprehension was visible.]

Waitress: "Aaaaah, un smoooooziiie"

Me (at a loss): oui... un smooozziiie, s'il vous plaît....

Ironically, in France I am harder to understand when I pronounce my English 'th's correctly, than if I were to order un café, for example. Similarly, if I were to order a brownie, it would take more than one attempt if I were to pronounce it in the standard English way. 'Brownie' in French should be pronounced "broooonie" (think Carla Bruni).  Really, there is no hope.

Whether I attempt a French accent or proudly pronounce words in my own accent, my nationality is evident;I am no fille française. Never being able to pass as a born-and-bred Frenchie does bother me at times, particularly as it can detract from my credibility, yet overall I don't think this should necessarily be a negative thing. The fact that some people can never disguise their native accent, however well they may speak a language, is something to be embraced. It forces us to remain loyal to our roots, however far, and for however long we may stray from them.