The French love to kiss, and don't
we all, but in la belle France, you are never far from witnessing the nation's mouth
to mouth appreciation. No matter where, and no matter how over the top, the
French love their P.D.A, whether it is teenagers in school corridors, partners in the park, or a
couple getting it on over dinner in restaurants. Even texting, the French are
just so much more blaringly obvious with their affection. The British and
American 'xx' used to finish off a text, be it your sister, friend, or partner,
just does not translate on the continent. If you're close enough to someone, or
feeling particularly friendly, the word 'bises' or 'bisous' rounds off the text,
the equivalent to someone writing out the full word 'kiss' or 'kisses'. I
honestly can't imagine that catching on in Britain. First of all, it would be
far too much effort to type those extra characters, but more importantly, the
actual words would seem so glaringly up front as opposed to the
more symbolic 'xx'.
Yet in social gatherings, it
is the two little kisses, the French 'bises', which characterizes the French
kissing culture the most. This is the air kiss on both cheeks, widely accepted
as the norm, and a custom which I
simultaneously love and hate about greetings across the Channel. The 'bises' occur
between friends, family, acquaintances , and even those you are meeting for the
first time. Planting your face next to a strangers twice within seconds of
being introduced leaves no room (literally) for awkwardness, and this is
something I love. Rather than wondering whether to shake hands or just smile and nod, giving the 'bises' breaks the ice and everyone knows where
they stand.
Yet this seemingly innocent and friendly greeting
method does pose some interesting judgement calls amongst us ex-pats. One of
the biggest issues is which way to 'bise' first. Similar to the dance people do
when about to bump into each other on the street, if both 'bisers' choose to
head the same way they either dither or crash. Yet the 'bises' crash involves the
cringe worthy possibility of getting some cheeky lip to lip action you hadn't
bargained for, rather than just a casual smack in the arm by an ungainly passerby.
To make things more awkward, when
the other person knows they are meeting an English person for the first time,
they are aware that we don't go in for the kisses. Consequently, they are
sometimes hesitant to lean in, despite the fact that we have grown accustomed to getting our
'bise' on. So, do we make the first move
and get our cheeks acquainted? Or do we just leave it and play out our awkward
British stereotype, smiling and nodding?
To complicate matters further,now that my Angolophone friends and I have become used to 'bising' our French friends and
acquaintances, we've started to do it between ourselves, even when there is not
a Frenchie in sight. Is this weird? Probably. What makes it weirder is getting
back into the French swing of things after the Christmas holidays in England.
We are now at the once again awkward stage of 'To bise or not to bise,' even
between British friends.
Although I am sure that after a couple of weeks of lips crashing and awkward bise/hugs, we will be back to fully embracing the 'bise' action once more.
